You see this player with his doughnut mouth open? It's Eddy Curry. He weighs 500 pounds because all he eats are little children. He moves about as fast as a tuna sandwich. He's about as motivated to play defense as my cats are to move themselves off the couch. He plays center but for some reason can never grab more than 6 rebounds a game — that's like a canal street dvd bootlegger with only 2 movies for sale. Last night, he had 19 points, shot 70% from the field and his team is now undefeated at 3-0. Remember a while back how David Copperfield used some voodoo smoke mirrors 3-card monte to somehow convince Claudia Schiffer to marry him? David Copperfield is better at his job than the Knicks are at theirs, so do the math. Za-Zing!
